Yes, you can now live-tweet during a show and chortle over an episode’s recap online, but there’s still nothing like getting together in person for a bit of (generally) girl-bonding. In the nineties, Melrose Place drew people to mates’ places, in 2004 big house parties were thrown for the Sex and the City finale, and in 2015, we have The Bachelor…
My pal, Cara (left, above), has been hosting little soirees for The Bachelor since season one. She loves the Adelaide Crows, the V8s and The Bachelor – not necessarily in that order. At season kick-off, she has the referee whistle poised at her lips. And she does good party.
It made me think about what’s needed to host the perfect Bachelor party of your own (strippers, boyish pranks and Hangover-style, well, hangovers not required). Here are some essentials I’ve come up with:
One cynical party guest who keeps repeating how wrong it is for a harem of women to throw themselves at a bloke in this day and age, and that marriage and the perfect spray-tan/side-cleavage shouldn’t be a lass’s only goals in life … while being unable to un-Velcro her own eyes from the screen.
A starry-eyed guest who truly believes Sam has organised all the extravagant, OTT dates himself without the aid of a TV crew (hot air balloon ride quaffing French champers, anyone?), and never thinks a word Bachie says is scripted or that he might be coerced into giving a certain someone a rose for the ratings (hello Sandra).
A fully-charged TV remote. Size doesn’t matter … ahem… when it comes to the screen you’re watching, so long as you can keep the volume up and drown out any guest who can’t help from constantly cracking bad jokes, along the lines of “there’s Snezana ‘Sneezy’ and the other Six Dwarves” (cough, that might have been me).
Eye-candy and actual candy. Seeing as you’re watching the eye-candy that is Sam Wood using his washboard abs to launder his scoop-neck tee on et al, you must eat real candy. This is no time for protein balls or acai bowls, people! That is not in the stag-party spirit. Your guilty indulgence of watching trash-TV must be teamed with pizza, Oreos and, well, maybe not too much booze because it is a school night.
And, finally, you need a cut-out figure of Bachie to cuddle in between the ad breaks, as below (which I imagine feels less stiff than Sam Wood would – that was a mouthful – in real-life). Okay, Cara works in the media, so the cut-out was a bit easier to source, but Network Ten has also put together a downloadable Bachelor pack, complete with bunting, paper roses, and a bachelorette guide here, which would work well, too. You want to keep the party vibe casual and not try too hard, but still have some fun (though, save the penis party straws for an actual bachelorette party).
So what are you doing this Wednesday and Thursday night?